Hola! Well I dont know where to start.....In my past emails i have tried to be as positive as i can....but my mission president (One of the most amazing men in the world) and my fantastic trainer have encouraged me to let my family and friends know of my struggles and ask for some specific prayers. So here it goes. In all honesty....This is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. Im struggling. A LOT. We had interviews with president this last Friday & i ALMOST made the decision to go home that day.....ALMOST. In the words of my amazing brother talking about early on in his mission....lets just sum up a little bit of how i am feeling. "It was terrible. I had the hardest time of my life. I remember walking down the street, looking at the stars, and wondering if I was ever going home. Time seemed to be moving SO slow. I would wake up in the morning and felt such a burden I could barely move to my knees and simply utter "Heavenly Father... Help me". I have never struggled so much in my life." yep....almost exaclty how i feel. I've been dyinng to go home. I have been barely hangin in here...I struggle getting out of bed in the morning & I can't wait to go to bed at night. I constantly have a headache & have frequent stomach aches. I feel so inadequate. I dont know the doctrine/scriptures very well at all and lets add spanish on there to top that off. I am not very good at talking to people (elaborating, explaining, and playing off what others say). Lets just say that everything a missionary needs to be ...i am struggling with.Yipppeee. At this point I feel like I am moving backwards rather than progressing. There is just not enough time to study everything i need to study and i feel like i am not even retaining what i do study. And apparently i lack some serious self confidence. I have to write president Jeppson 3 things i like about myself everyday & cant repeat for a couple weeks. haha. So yep...Im struggling. Haha...wellllll this is awkward..... So ya at the request of president Jeppson & for the welfare of your favorite sister missionary....Prayers are greatly appreciated. I love you all so much. Thanks for everything. Ya'll are gems.
Con amor, Hermana Josse
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